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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111581">Shrike</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellinaGatsby/pseuds/StellinaGatsby'>StellinaGatsby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Like Real People Do [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Baggage, Estranged Families, F/M, Familial Relationships, bathing together, emotional honesty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:41:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellinaGatsby/pseuds/StellinaGatsby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gob opens up to Sarah about his family from before he was a Ghoul</p><p>Really, just an excuse for me to share all my head canons for Gob's back story and also make my readers cry</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gob/Female Lone Wanderer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Like Real People Do [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1370947</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Rated T for references to sex and drugs</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gob was running late. He wasn’t really late because he could decide when he wanted to open the bar, which was still such an outlandish notion, but he preferred having the bar open by ten. If he didn’t have set hours, what was stopping him from not opening until the afternoon or the evening? What was stopping him from never opening the bar again? No, he had to be at work by ten. This was his job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob opened his dresser drawer to get clean socks and underwear. Sarah reached past him to get her bra off the top of the dresser. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled off the tank top she’d worn to bed and tossed it in where her bra had been before putting the bra on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob had stopped, waiting for Sarah to turn around so he could change his underwear, but she was just watching him hopefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you…?” He gestured turning around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah’s face fell, but she turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gob?” she asked. “Are you ever going to let me see you naked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was taken aback by the question. In the past year and a half that they had been together, she had routinely offered him things that would require letting her see him naked - things like giving him oral sex or taking a bath together - but he had never been able to let her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wish you trusted me enough to let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob startled. “I trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah still didn’t look at him. “No you don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he was getting angry. He didn’t like what he was being accused of, and over something as stupid as this. He took her by the shoulder and turned her back around. “Really? I won’t let you see my cock and that means I don’t trust you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she said softly. “It’s not just that. It’s... It’s just…“ She took a deep breath. “You know everything about me, about my life before we met. I’ve told you all of my insecurities, all of my issues, all about my childhood and my trauma, and… I don’t know any of that about you. I rely on you to keep me afloat, to keep me sane, and you just… don’t or won’t rely on me for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sounded so sad, the anger drained out of him. And, he realized, she was right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they were first getting to know each other, when he was still a slave, she had all the power in their relationship because Gob didn’t have any power over anything in this life. He had definitely needed her more than she needed him back then. At some point, that balance had shifted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like… I didn’t know you had a problem with Med-X when you first got to Underworld.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob flinched. “Carol told you that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She thought I already knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot of Ghouls have drug problems when they first change,” he said defensively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. It’s easy to get hooked on painkillers when you’re in pain for a long time. You know it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Although… it’s probably something you should have told me. As your doctor if not as your girlfriend. I should have known you were a recovered addict when I gave you meds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t let me get hooked again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. “This isn’t the best time to tell you my life story. I… I have to get to the bar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen. How about I close a little early today? We can talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. “I’d really like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” He kissed her. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gob felt spacey and unfocused all day. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be with Sarah and he did want to tell her whatever she wanted to know. He’d tell her about his childhood, about his change, about all the ways he could see his brain had been fucked up; he could prove he trusted her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, lying in bed with Sarah snuggled into his chest, he didn’t know where to begin and he knew there were things he wouldn’t be able to tell her. Theoretically, he wanted to be as open and honest with her as she had always been with him; in practice, he found his pain and vulnerability off-putting and he couldn’t imagine Sarah wouldn’t be repelled by it as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah ran her hand up and down his chest. She grazed her fingers over his collarbone and down his arm to take his hand. She kissed his fingers, one by one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you want me to start?” Gob whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about your family growing up. About your parents. Did you have brothers and sisters?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was an easy enough thing to talk about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I did. I had three sisters. Two older, one younger. Pema, Risa, and Lola. When I was a teenager, I was really jealous that they had normal names and I got stuck with Gob.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t like your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t always been a fan. I like it better when you moan it, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah giggled. “Of course you do, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly though, I’m not sure how my mother came up with Gobtholemew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gobtholemew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you and your sisters close?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh? Kind of? They were always closer to each other than they were to me. But yeah… compared to some of my friends and their siblings, we were close. Like, I knew people who didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>speak</span>
  </em>
  <span> to their siblings once they were adults or they only saw each other when their parents forced them to. Compared to that, my sisters and I were super close. We got together for dinner every Saturday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that was a gross understatement, but admitting how close they were reminded him of the chasm between them now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I watched their kids all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had nieces and nephews?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Four nieces, two nephews. My oldest niece was almost ten when I had to leave. My youngest nephew wasn’t even a year old. There might have been more after I left. I don’t think Risa or Lola were done having kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet they loved hanging out with their Uncle Gob.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled. “They called me Tiyo Gob, actually,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tiyo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s tagalog. That’s what we called my mother’s brother. My cousin David’s kids called me Tiyo Gob, too. He and I were really close growing up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know why he had decided to tell her about David; it was important, but even mentioning David threatened to bring him to tears. The chasm between Gob and his sisters was nothing compared to the unending vacuum of space he felt when he thought about David.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about David,” Sarah murmured into his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um?” Gob’s voiced quavered. “I, um, I don’t know where to start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were about the same age?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “He was ten weeks older than me. We… we were practically brothers. He was quiet. Not like shy, just soft spoken and… a man of few words.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kind of like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he chuckled, but also felt tears filling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re soft spoken.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t used to be. Not until I got here. David was… I don’t want to say stoic, because he was also funny as hell if you got his humor. Stoic the way Charon is stoic, but not as angry. Stoic in a ‘still waters run deep’ kind of way. And, um… he was my best friend. I don’t think there was a single day we didn’t see each other. From the time I was born until he got me to Underworld. And um…” Gob pushed himself up and covered his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, baby. You can stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sarah whispered. She kissed his face, trying to nudge his hands away. “I’m sorry, Gob. I didn’t realize how much this would upset you. I should have. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her voice was quavering now, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gob sniffled. “I… Sarah…” He let her kiss his lips, his cheekbones, his eyelids. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to know about David. And my sisters and the kids. But… I loved them so much, sometimes it hurts just to think about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. That’s how I feel when I think about my dad and Jonas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can stop for now. You can tell me more when you feel up to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Gob nodded. “I’m going to tell you. I’m going to tell you everything, it’ll just… take time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have time. I’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… Me neither.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gob &amp; Sarah taking a bath together<br/>No sex, just talking &amp; relaxing in the tub</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He had decided. He wanted to let Sarah see him naked. They had been together for over a year. She wanted to see him naked and he wanted to let her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he knew he was going to be so anxious… he wouldn’t be able to focus on making love, if he was able to get it up at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wadsworth was heating up water so Gob could take his Sunday afternoon bath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Sarah?” Gob said, leaning against the back of the couch next to where she was sitting and reading.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up, baby?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you… maybe… want to get in the bath with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her head whipped around to look at him, her eyes wide. “Oh! Yeah! Sure!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” he said quickly. “If you just want to read.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! No, I want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He already regretted this. He knew it would be fine. He had felt this way the first time they had sex - a deep sense of inexplicable dread, anxiety so intense he couldn’t think about anything else - and that had been fine. It had been more than fine; it had been fantastic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gob busied himself with filling up the tub. He only filled it halfway; they could add more water once they were both in the tub.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at himself in the mirror. This was a mistake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah knocked lightly on the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can come in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She slipped into the room and closed the door behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, um…” Gob hesitated. “I… don’t want to have sex, right now. I think… I just think it’ll be easier if I’m not worried about… that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah nodded. “Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gob glanced at the tub, then back at Sarah.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah waited for a second, then she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. She shimmied out of her jeans, then unhooked her bra, and pulled off her panties, kicking them away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful,” Gob whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah stepped up to him and kissed him on the lips. She pulled at the hem of his tee shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay?” she asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, not trusting his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah pulled his shirt up. He lifted his arms to let her get it over his head. He threw his shirt on the floor and settled his hands on Sarah’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands went to his waist and slid around to his back. She kissed him deeply, her hands skating up his back and around to his chest, then down his ribs to his waist and finally settling on the waistband of his pants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He breathed out slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, baby?” Sarah asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So far, so good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah kissed across his collarbones, scraping her teeth over them. She pulled back and looked at him, letting her hands slide over his ribs and chest again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hated the way one side of his ribcage looked distended and overgrown; he hated that he was missing his left nipple and the right one was misshapen; he hated that his navel had disappeared and that his body hair was so stringy and patchy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you are, gorgeous,” she mumbled against his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands went to the closure of his pants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay?” she asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head. “Let me do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” She stepped back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gob closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see any disgust or disappointment on her face. He shoved his pants and boxers both to the floor and stepped out of them. When he opened his eyes again, Sarah was looking at him like she did when they woke up in the morning, like she did when he got home from work, like she did when she said, “Hey, baby, you coming to bed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Most of the tension melted out of him. He didn’t know why he had expected anything else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sarah,” he croaked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re gorgeous,” she whispered. “I keep telling you.” She stepped up to him and kissed him again. “Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon in the tub?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh… I should… I should be the little spoon, get used to… letting you look at me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like looking at you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah pulled away reluctantly. She stepped into the tub and lowered herself into the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come here, babe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He followed suit, sinking into the warm water. He poured another bucket of hot water into the tub with them, then Sarah pulled him back into her arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to force himself to relax, but the warm water and Sarah’s touch could only do so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah pressed a kiss to his temple. She ran her hands over his chest and arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gob let out a shaky breath. “I think…” he started. He sighed. “I was… I was really good-looking. Before I changed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Humble brag,” Sarah murmured.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I mean… My sisters used to joke about how unfair it was that I was the prettiest out of the four of us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah giggled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I had a lot of self-worth tied up in how I looked. Like, I knew it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> important, but… it was. I was a hard worker and I was attractive. And… that went away when I got sick. And it sucked. Losing the only good things about me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sarah wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his chest and squeezed him. “You’re still a hard worker,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I wasn’t when I was sick. And I wasn’t for a while after I changed because I was still in pain most of the time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There are other good things about you. You’re sweet. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re a person who genuinely cares about other people. That’s a rarity.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So are you,” Gob whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She kissed his temple again. “And you know I think you’re still good-looking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He huffed a laugh. “You’re the only one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter. I know everyone else is wrong.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Anyone want some more stories about pre-Ghoul Gob?<br/>Specifically him being adorable with his nieces and nephews?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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